The very first step in accessing your HigherSELF Heart strength [your connection to THE UNIVERSE] is to surrender to your indwelling Soul.
There is a myth that if you are spiritual, your entire life will be perfect and nothing will be in disarray ~
A false measurement of spiritual life experiences are the times when things do not go well. For the belief that if you are on a spiritual path, you would not create anything that is uncomfortable or shameful.
The UNIVERSAL TRUTH of matter is spiritual intelligent growth requires the restructuring of the foundation of SELF and beingness. And when releasing the current life foundation for a new foundation difficult experiences will occur. As you restructure your foundation beliefs, old thought-forms and ways of being are continuously released, sometimes leaving you not knowing who you are any longer.